Looking Back

It amazes me to look back upon this past year and see how far I have come. Greek School seemed to be a test of perseverance in the midst of transition. The Fall Semester of 2008 seemed to be an immersion into academic language and stepping more into my new identity of seminarian. The January term of 2009 allowed me the space to breathe deeply in theological reflection. This most recent spring semester gave me the opportunity to ground myself in the Reformed tradition while testing my wings to be a preacher.

Each semester has led me through great joys, challenges, struggles. As I look back on my first year of seminary I know all too well that I was not able to do it alone. I am deeply reminded of a prayer written by Thomas Merton, which I have framed on my desk and read often:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will fear not, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - Thoughts in Solitude