Ordination

My theology professor recently shared a poem on ordination. I found it quite profound on many levels and would like to share it with you.

Ordination
James A. Autry

Brother Jim Thompson came,
The oldest,
With overalls and a white shirt buttoned at the collar.
With a walking cane and a Bible
That had stood fifty years of pounding,
And with that old fire burning through his cataracts.

Didn’t need no seminary
Always preached the Bible
and the Lord Jesus Christ
Crucified and buried and
raised from the dead.


Brother Hamer came
And Brother Ewart
And the three Walker boys,
Preachers all.
They came through rain,
Wrestling the wheels of their out-of-county cars,
Sliding in ruts so deep the tail pipes dragged.
They parked under the trees
And along the road,
Picking their way along the high spots
Like children jumping puddles.
Into the church of their fathers,
The place they had all felt the call.

The old home church
Where thousands of hands had pressed
On the bowed heads of new preacher boys,
Of sun-reddened young men called by the Lord,
called from the cotton fields to preach the word.

They had felt the hands,
These old preachers,
Felt those blunt-fingered, work-hardened hands,
Felt them like a blessing,
Like an offering,
Like a burden.

Felt them at weddings and baptizings,
Felt them in the heat of a summer revival sermon,
In the agony of a baby’s funeral,
In the desperate prayer against some killer disease,
In the frustrating visit with a mind gone senile.

And now the old preachers came to lay their hands
On the head of a new kind of preacher,
A preacher from the seminary,
A preacher who studied the Bible in Greek and Hebrew,
Who knew about religions they never heard of,
Who knew about computers
And memory banks full of sermons
And many other modern things.
A new kind of preacher.
And yet,
A preacher who would still feel on her head
the hands
Like a commandment
From all the preachers and deacons who ever were.

From Life After Mississippi
Yoknapatawpha Press, Oxford, MS, 1989

The Truth of Grace

It is hard to believe that Doug, Devon, Ashley, and I have nearly finished our second year at Columbia Theological Seminary. We moved onto the CTS campus June 2008 as I began summer Greek School. As I begin preparing to take the ordination exams in August 2010, I wonder where the time has gone! Make sure you mark your calendars for graduation day on May 14, 2011!

My second year of seminary began with going before my Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM) and the Charlotte Presbytery to apply for candidacy status in the process of seeking a vocation in Ordained Ministry. I was grateful to receive such gracious support and affirmation from the Sardis Session, my CPM, and the Presbytery. It was a milestone for me in recognizing how far God has brought me along in this journey and how much more I trust to learn for ministry.

The second year of seminary has been filled with many challenges. My studies this year in Theology, Biblical Languages, Pastoral Care, Worship, and Polity continue to challenge, stretch, and develop my critical thinking and theological foundation. My part time ministry in Outreach, Small Groups, and Fellowship at Rehoboth Presbyterian (Decatur, GA), where I served as Pastoral Intern in 2009, has been meaningful and continues to help me learn about my pastoral identity.

The most significant aspect of this second year is that I am truly beginning to learn the truth of grace in my life. I am learning more about the art of balancing self care, marriage, family, school, and ministry. Although the balancing certainly is not easy, I continue to trust the many ways God is leading me to fully live life. God is also reminding me of the truth of grace...that grace binds us to Christ, meeting us exactly where we are in life's journey. Grace creates a new and discernible path out of life’s chaos, allows us to live in right relationship, strengthens us in our vulnerabilities, gives us rest when we are weary, and helps us to find humor in the midst of difficulty.

I continue to pray that in this season of Lent God will reveal more about the truth of grace to each of us. It is the grace revealed in the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. As we approach the cross during these 40 days may we be led to the radical hope of resurrection...not just for our eternal rest but in order that we may know the radical transformation of Christ today.

Second Year Jitters

My second year of seminary study, also known as middler year, begins this week. Tuesday and Wednesday this week our class will be debriefing on our internship experiences. I am excited to learn more about what my colleagues experienced in their pastoral intern roles this summer.

I will continue working at Rehoboth Presbyterian as their part time director of outreach and fellowship. I will follow up with visitors and prospective members and help them to plug into the life of the church. I am also excited about beginning to plant some small groups for small group ministry. I am excited for the opportunity to continue building relationship with them in this time of transition.

My classes this semester are Hebrew, Theology, and Pastoral Care. The Old Testament as we have it today was originally written in ancient Hebrew. The language is read from right to left and looks like hieroglyphics to me! I am trusting I will learn quickly and do fine...I will also be a reading assistant to the new students in the Scripture Reading Practicum class. In other words I will be a model reader for the class sections to help them develop skills for the public reading of Scripture. I love this part of worship and am thrilled to be a part of this as well.

My latest news is I travel to Charlotte this week to meet with my Committee on Preparation for Ministry (CPM). I have my annual consultation and also interview for candidacy towards ordained ministry in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Please keep our journey in your prayers.

Blessings on your Fall....
Carson

Summer Internship

I have been busy this summer in my internship at Rehoboth Presbyterian Church (RPC) in Decatur, GA. The congregational size is just over 100 members and they are a wonderful group whom I am privileged to have gotten to know this summer.

I have three more weeks with RPC and so far I have been involved in leading worship every Sunday, preached three of four times, been on many visitations to homes and hospitals, and helped to officiate two funerals for beloved family members of the church. It has been my privilege to serve along with the people of Rehoboth in the great adventure of faith as they discern what new ways God is calling them to be an outwardly focused church and trying to imagine what this new ministry looks like.

More reflection is on the way, but I wanted to share a few pictures and a little of my expereinces with you.

Grace and Peace,
Carson

Looking Back

It amazes me to look back upon this past year and see how far I have come. Greek School seemed to be a test of perseverance in the midst of transition. The Fall Semester of 2008 seemed to be an immersion into academic language and stepping more into my new identity of seminarian. The January term of 2009 allowed me the space to breathe deeply in theological reflection. This most recent spring semester gave me the opportunity to ground myself in the Reformed tradition while testing my wings to be a preacher.

Each semester has led me through great joys, challenges, struggles. As I look back on my first year of seminary I know all too well that I was not able to do it alone. I am deeply reminded of a prayer written by Thomas Merton, which I have framed on my desk and read often:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will fear not, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - Thoughts in Solitude

Looking Ahead

He is Risen, He is Risen indeed! I can not tell you how happy I am to have experienced the Resurrection of Jesus Christ again. There is indeed new life, new beginnings, and a genuine realization of something greater than ourselves when we hear, see, smell, touch, and taste the good graces of our amazing God at Easter. Although I do know this time of year is not always a joyful one for all, I do hope that you felt God's peace, presence, and eternal hope-filled promise on Easter Sunday.

My last post was in February. The month of March was a very difficult one not only for my family and myself, but also for many friends close to us. One of my dearest friends lost her father to cancer and then had to hospitalize her youngest five year old daughter for severe pneumonia. They returned home after two long weeks in the hospital, just before Spring Break. My heart was breaking seeing my friends go through these dark days. And so many other fellow students were experiencing illness and difficult times as well.

Both Devon and Ashley became ill the same week of March and I fell ill with the terrible upper respiratory flu too. My illness came upon me as interviews for my church internships were drawing to an end. Time did not slow down to care for the girls or keep up with classes. After getting the girls well and back in school, it was all I could do to take care of myself. I think it took me close to three weeks to recover from the flu. But God is good in giving us caring spouses, supportive families and friends, good doctors and medicine, and gracious professors who understand that life happens. It has been a hard semester.

After catching back up with my classes and surviving midterm exams, I tried with all my might to press on to Spring Break for a much needed rest. Doug and I took the girls to the beach for Spring Break, April 6-10. It was a wonderful respite for our family and a much needed rest for all of us. We went to Destin, Florida on the Gulf Coast; it was so beautiful. There is an incredible calming of the soul to just sit on the beach and experience the rhythm of the tides with all of the senses. The immensity of the ocean always seems to put my world back into perspective. It was so nice to just be a family with no additional responsibilities or obligations. We went to the beach, played in the sand and the pool, and walked around the Destin area. We returned Friday April 10 in time to unpack, catch up the laundry, and enjoy Easter.

Easter Sunday we went to church and spent the afternoon at Stone Mountain park walking along the hiking trails. The trails overlooked a beautiful lake. We were in awe of all the activity we saw in nature...ducks and geese followed us, cranes flew overhead, and turtles and lizards were perched along the water's edge. It was a beautiful two hour walk. That night at bedtime, I asked Devon what she saw on the hike and she recounted all the creatures. When I asked her where she saw God, her eyes got as big as saucers and she just replied in awe, "I don't know!" When I told her that I saw God in all these creatures, in the beauty and silence of nature, and even in the dogwood blooms she was just amazed. I love moments like these.

The afternoon at Stone Mountain reminds me of a poem by Mary Oliver:

"When I Am Among the Trees"

When I am among the trees,
especially the willlows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in the leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

Well, we are already looking ahead to what the summer is bringing. Ashley and Devon will turn another year older May 16 and June 24, respectively; Ashley will be 6 yrs old and Devon will be 8 yrs old! So as I press on to finish the semester I am beginning to think about birthday parties and planning a few family trips to VA to be with our extended families. My church internship will begin June 3 at a local church here in Decatur, GA. It is called Rehoboth Presbyterian Church, a congregation of about 150 members. http://www.rehobothpres.org/ The solo pastor, The Rev. Joel Tolbert, is a CTS graduate. I am so excited for the opportunity to put all I am learning into practice and to share in Rehoboth's adventure with God. I will be getting to know the families and community of the church, leading a Sunday School class, participating in fellowship events, learning the administrative side of ministry in staff and session meetings, preaching four times, and engaging weekly with Rev. Tolbert in theological reflection.

Thanks for your support, prayers, and keeping up with us. As always I would love to keep in touch with you and your family. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

I Think I'm in Love

So I think I'm in love...with seminary that is. This semester is absolutely amazing. Although there is much more reading this term, I can't seem to get enough of what I am reading. I am enthralled, fascinated, and being challenged and stretched all at the same time.

New Testament Survey has been filled with learning the culture of the early Christian Church. It is amazing to hear so much about the nuances of the times in which Paul and the early Christian followers lived. Our professor and readings are certainly painting a vivid backdrop for us to read the Scripture against. We have begun with the earliest New Testament Scriptures, which were written by Paul.

Reformed Theology has been reinforcing much of the material we learned in Church History last semester. I am very driven to learn about the many fathers and the history of the Reformed tradition and to understand the greater concept of Reformed Theology. So far our readings have stemmed from the Book of Confessions (PCUSA), as well as focusing on the lives and theology of St. Augustine, Martin Luther, Ulrich Zwingli, and John Calvin. I must say that I am being stretched as I try to work through my own personal theology.

But my very favorite class is Preaching and Worship. The second day of class we were told that within the art of preaching, we must be able to stand in our own lives while standing in the text of Scripture and tell what we see (narrate) and believe (confess) as testimony even when it is beyond imagination. What a tall and difficult task this is! One of our textbooks on preaching is written by Dr. Tom Long, Professor of Preaching at Candler School of Theology (Emory University campus); this is an amazing book. His wife, Kim Long, is one of our Worship professors. Our main preaching professor, Dr. Anna Carter Florence, is stretching us beyond our imaginations.

Anna spoke courage to me through her book, "Preaching as Testimony": "Preacher can you describe this? Yes I can describe this indescribable place in which we live. Yes I can describe that indescribable place for which we yearn. Yes I can describe the hell we know and the heaven God promises. I am a preacher and I can describe it, even as I confess that I will never be able to explain the difference between the two."

So our preaching assignments this week led me to a great struggle. We were to read Mark 5:21-43. It entails the two enveloped stories of Jesus healing Jairus' daughter and the hemorrhaging woman. The assignment was five fold: day one included spending an hour reading and listening to the text. We were also to write it out by hand in order to process the text more slowly. Day two included reading the bible passage in a "dislocated" place, such as the MARTA train station and / or riding on the train, in an ER waiting room, at a park which many homeless neighbors congregate, a pharmacy near Grady hospital (main triage in Altanta) where people without insurance get their prescriptions, or at a high end mall. The requirement was that this location was to be unfamiliar to us and we were to read this text from our Bible within this public place.

You would not believe how incredible this experience was to many of my colleagues. The next time you have a passage of Scripture that you want to meditate on, I hope that you will do so in a "dislocated" place in your community. You will certainly see the passage differently. A side note is that the intent is not to bring great attention to yourself, but to allow a social landscape to bring a different perspective to the text.

Day three my preaching small group picked apart Mark 5:21-43 verse by verse. We had to look at the surrounding passages and chapters and all the while asking how and why this narration happened. We imagined, shared personal experiences, guessed the characters' motivations, and even acted some parts out. All this took two hours. We all left seeing the text with new perspectives and more questions. This experience taught me that when you think that you have the Biblical text figured out then you must have not looked hard enough!

Day four included to re-read the text of Mark 5 and begin to find a main focus for a sermon. There are so many things that could be drawn out of this passage. The most difficult aspect was that we were to keep in mind that the focus of the sermon was intended for our preaching class small group not the claim that we wanted to make. I wrestled for hours on this part of the assignment trying to reflect on what I knew about my classmates and how my sermon focus might speak just to and for them. So many of my colleagues are fresh out of undergraduate school and there is an age gap of at least ten to fifteen years between some of us. It was a late night and a lot to consider!!!

Day five was Friday as our preaching small group reconvened to share our focus sentence for our sermon. We spent two hours going around the circle and sharing what our foci were. Let me say that it is one thing to write a claim of a sermon and another thing all together to verbalize it to another. Needless to say, each of our focus sentences for our sermons changed significantly in directions we did not anticipate. It required so much of ourselves to dig deep on the spot, look at a classmate and say, "I want my sermon to say to you...." and "This is what I want my sermon to do to you in your life...." Many of us were teary eyed in hearing such richness being proclaimed from places we could not have imagined.

SO I left my preaching class today feeling that I had spent this past week wrestling an angel with this passage from Mark 5. And then to find out that our upcoming sermon, which we will be delivering over the next two weeks, can be on any passage except this one from Mark!!! I felt so ripped off because I wanted to hear all the different angles we reached today preached. But if I had to do it all over again, I would not have changed a thing. The ways I have struggled with Mark 5 this week are far more valuable to me than the sermon I was anticipating to write.

Thank you for staying with me this long. I am definitely being joyfully filled, challenged, and stretched...and some of it is even happening in the classroom!

Blessings to you and yours.